Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Friday, September 10, 2010
ἔκλαιεν
It’s black (cough!),
The taste of smoke has made its home upon my tongue
Yet you can still see, so can I.
What beauty have we in this day!
This is a house of mirrors, simply put
And with no lack of exigency will I find my way out
I can’t say that I mind; I don’t wish to leave
Every way looks like the right way –they all look the same, to me
The taste is strange –sobering, disheartening, a pestering pestilence
We hasten to debase the taste of smoke that together, we share
It makes the palate dry – as if one were parched
I recognize the smell, but I can’t remember where
The air is hot, and my eyes are burning
This will be intolerable soon.
I DON’T CARE!
I don't live or die by what you scribble!
You’ve shown me the rubble, you say that it’s mine,
You’ve shown me the rubble, I’ll tell you it’s yours!
Lies, they’re all lies!
(cough!) I stumble, the feeling returns
Verily, merrily , I say, what wonder is there in this day!
Smoke! –now I remember; no matter though,
Never again shall it abate my halcyon jubilee!
A stroll down this hallway evokes a bizarre sentiment,
Looking around, mirrors surround me,
The air seems crisp, and yet,
The taste of smoke remains on my tongue
-It always ruins the days worth dying for.
The candid man, speaking to me in smoke –as always.
The feeling is awful –swaggering, staggering; I’ll make it, I swear to you!
Sleeping sunrise to sunset, still with no rest
The air is hot, and my eyes are burning,
I look to my left, then to my right and what do I see?
Reflections of smoke pouring out of me.
The eye is a lamp, and the tongue is a fire,
How the lamp gives fuel to the fire!
Mirrors in all directions telling me the same story,
A story of darkness –and how great is the darkness!
I sing for joy, my requiem aeternam deo
My soul rejoices! (cough!)
Yet, my heart cries out, has it not become colder?
Is not the night continually closing in upon us?
Come one! Come all to this strident masquerade!
This mask is but a casque designed for the heart of man,
For you, for me, for everyone, we’ll be near, here,
To the truth that you and your forefathers gave reproof.
I am no prophet –and here’s no great matter;
But lord knows I have a gut –and a clever one indeed,
I’ve seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
Still my instinct tells me it's simply marvelous,
Isn’t it obvious to us all?
My soul rejoices!
Then he says to me, candidly, mournfully,
“That’s not it at all,
That’s not what I meant, at all.”
- Στεφανος Άρρις
Saturday, May 22, 2010
A Psalm of Praise
In the stillness of my thoughts,
You are with me.
When I am in times of trouble,
and I am crushed in rushing rapids,
gasping for air looking, frantically,
for a rock to save myself,
And when I walk in darkness, to fall into a precipice,
and I scramble to find a lantern to light the path at my feet,
I find You.
I am the rocks upon which the seed was sown,
I am the rich man who decided to tear down his storehouses and build larger ones,
and who says to himself, "take ease, eat, drink, be merry."
I am the virgin that did not store up oil for my lantern,
anticipating the arrival of the coming Bridegroom.
I am the wise man made a fool, led astray,
led to be fed to the mouth of Sheol
only to look up as I hang from her jaws,
to see You, and your mighty hand,
keeping her jaws from closing on me.
In the stillness of my mind,
I feel a cool breeze on my face,
I hear quiet waters creeping downstream.
The breeze that moves across my face
brushes the green pastures in which I lay
as a comb through fine hair,
And I hear a whispering voice say to me,
"Am I not more than a rock, or a lantern?
Am I not more than One who restores you,
only for you to shout empty praises,
and again return to darkness?
Am I a fool?"
Lord, Lord! I entreat Thee!
Give grace to your servant,
for my sins outnumber the hairs of my head,
and the grass of the field,
and the sand of the sea.
The Lord, my God, is so much more
than the rope which brings me out of a pit
only to have itself be thrown into the pit.
ADONAI, let every inch of my being cry out to You,
and my praises be heard!
I am as a wave of the sea,
tossed by the wind,
but when You lift me up
I am as the rain and the snow which falls from Heaven!
Let it be so, that I will not return to you in Heavenly Places,
without first watering the Earth,
making it bud and flourish,
yielding for it seed for the sower
and bread for the eater,
not returning empty handed,
but accomplishing what You desire,
and achieving the purpose for which You sent me!
Let it be so, my Master,
that I will be not as the rains which fall on the just and the wicked,
bringing trial and tribulation to them,
blotting out the light which You have sent,
But that I will be as the rains that restore,
washing those upon whom I fall clean,
and giving them seed which will grow up to become the bread which gives life,
blessing all without partiality.
Let me be as the rains that restore the Earth
and reveal the sun to the entire world!
So that they all may see from whom all blessings flow,
and declare with their lips that Yeshua ADONAI is Lord!
My heart aches, for I beseech Thee,
that You may give me understanding of Your love!
Just as allowing the oxen to thresh is not for the benefit of the ox,
likewise is the rock and the lantern with which you save us not for our benefit,
but Yours!
For it is not You, but our own vices and depravity
which has taken us to the rushing rapids
or the darkness and the jaws of Sheol!
Praise be to God!
For all things work together for those who You have called,
according to Your purpose!
You have lifted our eyes to see You -the rock,
the lantern, the Hand which saves us,
and the One, alone,
worthy of praise, worship and service forever and ever!
Amen!
You are with me.
When I am in times of trouble,
and I am crushed in rushing rapids,
gasping for air looking, frantically,
for a rock to save myself,
And when I walk in darkness, to fall into a precipice,
and I scramble to find a lantern to light the path at my feet,
I find You.
I am the rocks upon which the seed was sown,
I am the rich man who decided to tear down his storehouses and build larger ones,
and who says to himself, "take ease, eat, drink, be merry."
I am the virgin that did not store up oil for my lantern,
anticipating the arrival of the coming Bridegroom.
I am the wise man made a fool, led astray,
led to be fed to the mouth of Sheol
only to look up as I hang from her jaws,
to see You, and your mighty hand,
keeping her jaws from closing on me.
In the stillness of my mind,
I feel a cool breeze on my face,
I hear quiet waters creeping downstream.
The breeze that moves across my face
brushes the green pastures in which I lay
as a comb through fine hair,
And I hear a whispering voice say to me,
"Am I not more than a rock, or a lantern?
Am I not more than One who restores you,
only for you to shout empty praises,
and again return to darkness?
Am I a fool?"
Lord, Lord! I entreat Thee!
Give grace to your servant,
for my sins outnumber the hairs of my head,
and the grass of the field,
and the sand of the sea.
The Lord, my God, is so much more
than the rope which brings me out of a pit
only to have itself be thrown into the pit.
ADONAI, let every inch of my being cry out to You,
and my praises be heard!
I am as a wave of the sea,
tossed by the wind,
but when You lift me up
I am as the rain and the snow which falls from Heaven!
Let it be so, that I will not return to you in Heavenly Places,
without first watering the Earth,
making it bud and flourish,
yielding for it seed for the sower
and bread for the eater,
not returning empty handed,
but accomplishing what You desire,
and achieving the purpose for which You sent me!
Let it be so, my Master,
that I will be not as the rains which fall on the just and the wicked,
bringing trial and tribulation to them,
blotting out the light which You have sent,
But that I will be as the rains that restore,
washing those upon whom I fall clean,
and giving them seed which will grow up to become the bread which gives life,
blessing all without partiality.
Let me be as the rains that restore the Earth
and reveal the sun to the entire world!
So that they all may see from whom all blessings flow,
and declare with their lips that Yeshua ADONAI is Lord!
My heart aches, for I beseech Thee,
that You may give me understanding of Your love!
Just as allowing the oxen to thresh is not for the benefit of the ox,
likewise is the rock and the lantern with which you save us not for our benefit,
but Yours!
For it is not You, but our own vices and depravity
which has taken us to the rushing rapids
or the darkness and the jaws of Sheol!
Praise be to God!
For all things work together for those who You have called,
according to Your purpose!
You have lifted our eyes to see You -the rock,
the lantern, the Hand which saves us,
and the One, alone,
worthy of praise, worship and service forever and ever!
Amen!
Friday, May 7, 2010
In our weakness, He is strong.
Sometimes when we can't pluck out our eyes
and throw them from us,
God does it for us.
Sometimes when we are blinded to the truth,
He gives us sight.
In times when we are lame
and cannot walk the path set before us,
God says, "Get up and walk!"
Even when we have become the walking dead,
He will resurrect us unto life,
even eternal life.
He is our Savior, our Healer,
the One who restores us,
and the One who brings life.
Praise be to Him forever and ever!
Amen.
and throw them from us,
God does it for us.
Sometimes when we are blinded to the truth,
He gives us sight.
In times when we are lame
and cannot walk the path set before us,
God says, "Get up and walk!"
Even when we have become the walking dead,
He will resurrect us unto life,
even eternal life.
He is our Savior, our Healer,
the One who restores us,
and the One who brings life.
Praise be to Him forever and ever!
Amen.
Conquered
I am conquered.
Life has crushed me in its inner chambers.
I am no more, for I have tasted the depths of Sheol
and have found the most profound nothingness.
I can hear the screams,
I can feel the pain that you and I,
and all of us are destined to find.
There is no joy here,
only silence, only suffering.
My pain is only magnified by my loss,
my love, forever and always.
You may see it approaching but who can resist it?
For all is from the Lord, my Master, my King.
The rains fall on us all, and noone is spared.
If you have not found Him, He will find you.
You cannot resist Him.
Who can save us from such horror,
such nothingness, such pain?
There is none, not one but the Lord.
Life has crushed me in its inner chambers.
I am no more, for I have tasted the depths of Sheol
and have found the most profound nothingness.
I can hear the screams,
I can feel the pain that you and I,
and all of us are destined to find.
There is no joy here,
only silence, only suffering.
My pain is only magnified by my loss,
my love, forever and always.
You may see it approaching but who can resist it?
For all is from the Lord, my Master, my King.
The rains fall on us all, and noone is spared.
If you have not found Him, He will find you.
You cannot resist Him.
Who can save us from such horror,
such nothingness, such pain?
There is none, not one but the Lord.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
My Great Lament - My Return
I feel as though change is coming -both for better and for worse. A part of me remembers that is completely relative to my emotions. I believe that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose, yet I grieve at the thought of my fears manifesting themselves as I feel they are about to.
I am about to go on Winter Break from school and will have over a month off of school. In some ways you could call me a mystic because I feel as though God is apportioning this time for me to be without one stressor so that I can take on another. The holidays are coming, but I fear them not. I fear loss above all things -the loss of those that I love. I fear that some that I love most dearly will destroy themselves in their own confusion with life. God help them, please.
I do my best not to ask things of God yet I find myself a contradiction -I pray that God will change me into the man that he desires me to be; I pray that He will test me -and that He will protect me also. I pray that He will change other people -how selfish! And worse, I expect Him to change me without any effort on my own at times -though not consciously until after the fact. I have sinned again and again against the my Lord and Savior, being ashamed of his commandments. I can feel the pain of sin deep within my heart -I fight the tears in every prayer, in every moment that I read the scriptures. I fight my tears when those around me, who I love, rationalize or act without thinking and sin against God, even just after prayer -and worse I wish to hide alone and scream after I join and partake in sin along with them. God help me, I beg You!
What I fear the most of all is my own superficiality. I weep about my sin and the sin of others, yet I often give up. Every day is a renewed struggle. I do not fight my sin in ways that "I wish that I did." Actions, inexcusably, cast a spotlight on our innermost desires and show not just the world but ourselves where our heart really lies. My heart lies with sin, the greatest of all adulteresses, for her way is to the pits of Sheol and her legs reach as pillars to its deepest depths. I am a sinner, guilty before the court and the Judge of life and death.
I hope that it is not I that shames the name of God, but sin which indwells me. But that is an empty hope and one that is without truth. God knows the heart and He knows that I am wicked waiting at every opportunity to strike against Him; the spirit and the flesh are at war and there will be no treaty -the battle will be fought to the death. One will be declared the victor by God Almighty in the Day of Judgment. I am a fool to think that I can win the battle against the flesh on my own -I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!
Winter is all but here. Nature dies before our eyes only to be reborn again. The air is growing colder and more chilling every day. Even still, God has given me comfort in His promises and in His Word. God has given me great and undeserved blessing that I piss away and actually believe as though it is mine, or anything for that matter. I have not earned nor deserve anything and it is only by the mercy of God that I have anything. My God, I have betrayed your blessings with my boasting in the flesh. The things of this world will pass away -again I will pray in futility! God give me the strength and the courage to store up riches in heaven, not on earth! Take away all fear from me, though I have nothing to fear with You as my God! Again I have hoped an empty hope: that God will change me with no effort on my own. It is MY choice to make. What an opportunity I have been given! I can simply choose Heaven over Hell! How great and simple a choice! God, I pray, have mercy on my pitiful soul.
My life is a sine wave. I rise and fall as the waves of the sea. Jesus is my rock, I need only to swim to Him and take hold for dear life eternal! Father in Heaven, I pray that others would do the same or else perish for all eternity! I can only fall in great fear and trembling of your judgment Lord. I do not understand your ways God but I trust in you and I take refuge in your commandments. Not once has sin done me well, in this world or in the one that is to come. Oh God! How I grieve and mourn over my sin and the pain of this world! Take me into Your arms and take me home with You in Eternity! If you are willing Lord, grant me your mercy, grace and love to an overflowing measure so that I can share it with others! Alas, I have sinned yet again, for the love of Christ and the Spirit of God indwells me this very moment! Every breath that I take is a sin.
My God and Savior, I am a cursed man for I crucify you with every breath and step that I take. Your love is too great for my understanding, too great for my gratitude.
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
My God, I am not worthy. To You be the Power and the Glory forever and ever! Amen.
I am about to go on Winter Break from school and will have over a month off of school. In some ways you could call me a mystic because I feel as though God is apportioning this time for me to be without one stressor so that I can take on another. The holidays are coming, but I fear them not. I fear loss above all things -the loss of those that I love. I fear that some that I love most dearly will destroy themselves in their own confusion with life. God help them, please.
I do my best not to ask things of God yet I find myself a contradiction -I pray that God will change me into the man that he desires me to be; I pray that He will test me -and that He will protect me also. I pray that He will change other people -how selfish! And worse, I expect Him to change me without any effort on my own at times -though not consciously until after the fact. I have sinned again and again against the my Lord and Savior, being ashamed of his commandments. I can feel the pain of sin deep within my heart -I fight the tears in every prayer, in every moment that I read the scriptures. I fight my tears when those around me, who I love, rationalize or act without thinking and sin against God, even just after prayer -and worse I wish to hide alone and scream after I join and partake in sin along with them. God help me, I beg You!
What I fear the most of all is my own superficiality. I weep about my sin and the sin of others, yet I often give up. Every day is a renewed struggle. I do not fight my sin in ways that "I wish that I did." Actions, inexcusably, cast a spotlight on our innermost desires and show not just the world but ourselves where our heart really lies. My heart lies with sin, the greatest of all adulteresses, for her way is to the pits of Sheol and her legs reach as pillars to its deepest depths. I am a sinner, guilty before the court and the Judge of life and death.
I hope that it is not I that shames the name of God, but sin which indwells me. But that is an empty hope and one that is without truth. God knows the heart and He knows that I am wicked waiting at every opportunity to strike against Him; the spirit and the flesh are at war and there will be no treaty -the battle will be fought to the death. One will be declared the victor by God Almighty in the Day of Judgment. I am a fool to think that I can win the battle against the flesh on my own -I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!
Winter is all but here. Nature dies before our eyes only to be reborn again. The air is growing colder and more chilling every day. Even still, God has given me comfort in His promises and in His Word. God has given me great and undeserved blessing that I piss away and actually believe as though it is mine, or anything for that matter. I have not earned nor deserve anything and it is only by the mercy of God that I have anything. My God, I have betrayed your blessings with my boasting in the flesh. The things of this world will pass away -again I will pray in futility! God give me the strength and the courage to store up riches in heaven, not on earth! Take away all fear from me, though I have nothing to fear with You as my God! Again I have hoped an empty hope: that God will change me with no effort on my own. It is MY choice to make. What an opportunity I have been given! I can simply choose Heaven over Hell! How great and simple a choice! God, I pray, have mercy on my pitiful soul.
My life is a sine wave. I rise and fall as the waves of the sea. Jesus is my rock, I need only to swim to Him and take hold for dear life eternal! Father in Heaven, I pray that others would do the same or else perish for all eternity! I can only fall in great fear and trembling of your judgment Lord. I do not understand your ways God but I trust in you and I take refuge in your commandments. Not once has sin done me well, in this world or in the one that is to come. Oh God! How I grieve and mourn over my sin and the pain of this world! Take me into Your arms and take me home with You in Eternity! If you are willing Lord, grant me your mercy, grace and love to an overflowing measure so that I can share it with others! Alas, I have sinned yet again, for the love of Christ and the Spirit of God indwells me this very moment! Every breath that I take is a sin.
My God and Savior, I am a cursed man for I crucify you with every breath and step that I take. Your love is too great for my understanding, too great for my gratitude.
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
My God, I am not worthy. To You be the Power and the Glory forever and ever! Amen.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Spread The Word Please!!!
Hey everybody! I started giving guitar lessons up at the Music Shoppe in Harrison a couple weeks ago. If you, a child, or a friend are wanting to learn the guitar, or the bass and be an awesome musician be sure to let me know! I would love to have you as a student and help you to reach your musical goals! I can help you learn anything that you want to know such as Folk, Blues, Country, Rock, Metal, Punk, Pop, Swing, Jazz, Bluegrass, Gospel, Classical, and on and on and on! I am available Monday through Thursday from 4:00 to 8:00! If you need to have lessons earlier just let me know; I can usually work something out. Besides, I'm hoping to make teaching my sole source of income so that I won't have to work my day job so I would be thrilled to have all of you as students!!!
If you have any questions about pricing, availability, lesson structure or anything let me know!
God Bless,
Stephen
P.S. I look forward to hearing from you all!!!
Help me to help you reach your musical goals so that you can be the great guitarist and musician that you have always wanted to be!
If you have any questions about pricing, availability, lesson structure or anything let me know!
God Bless,
Stephen
P.S. I look forward to hearing from you all!!!
Help me to help you reach your musical goals so that you can be the great guitarist and musician that you have always wanted to be!
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