At one point I was the one of the most difficult people to convince of anything. As an atheist, I was a logician, a philosopher, an ethicist and many others. My intellect has in no way compromised by my spiritual pursuits, but if anything been far more liberating and challenging than any other endeavor that I have ever partaken in. Also, as a former Buddhist, I was very deep seeded in eastern philosophy and spirituality, but nonetheless I was an atheist (as all non-Tibetan Buddhist practices fundamentally are).
Perhaps the difference between me and my fellow Christians is that I don't get preachy to people who are not Christians. It's just a plain bad idea. There is hardly a soul who would come to Christ, in my experience, if he/she were just shoved in their face and were told to "eat of this bread."
Some time ago, depression struck me when my mother passed away from breast cancer, and insomnia soon after came. Days upon days I would be awake. Living, but as the walking dead, an empty mass of flesh. Nine days solid I was once awake and the hallucinations were terrible. Buddhism was a way to calm me and give me peace at the time. It, however, was about inward focus of the self. The goal was the betterment of the self, not others. One can see this recurring theme throughout the faith by the large monastic community that much of the Buddhist community is a part of. This is one of the fundamental differences between the Buddhist faith and Christianity.
If you have ever studied psychology, the human mind has a way of "experiencing" things the way it sees fit. A way of interpreting "truth" as it deems appropriate. In other words, the mind sees what it wants to see, and hears what it likes to hear. The only way to prescribe whether or not that is occurring is by the removal of the self from one's own thoughts (if that makes any sense to you, as I'm sure it does); to forget the self and realize the greater things that are at play in your midst. Philosophy, logic and willpower became the primary focus; a sort of meditative practice focusing on nothing but "truth" and what we can know to be "empirical." There is also intuition. This is when things become complicated for making judgments as to whether or not we are being the creators of our own truth. Sometimes we just "feel" when something is right. Often times when we forget ourselves, the truth is revealed for what it is. To forget the self, and leave behind what one deems as important and meaningful brings about (surprisingly) an important and meaningful life.
The pursuit of happiness is far more deeply rooted than in just what we find in the world, which has the Buddhists would say has a quality called "anitya" or "mujo" both of which mean "impermanence,” that is, that none of these things last forever and can never give us a REAL fulfillment and sense of meaning as we would like.
Haha, do you remember the movie, "Fight Club" with Brad Pitt? He said something in that movie that I really responded well to and that I thought contained a lot of truth (seriously, whoever wrote that movie is a genius lol). He said, "Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives." He also said, “The things that you own, end up owning you.” Now you just think about that. If it came down to it, would you be able to leave everything behind in pursuit of truth (whether that be Christ, or not)? Most would say, yes, however this I know not to be true. Honesty with the self is the first key to freedom from everything.
The world has given us a false hope. I'm not referring to spirituality in any way here either. They just tell us that if you want to be happy, that you get a "nine to five", a house, kids, and a 401K. All they do though is create barriers and limits. It makes us stuck where we are. You hear people talk about it all the time. They say that they would love to just pick up and leave, but they just "can't." They are "stuck", enslaved to the things that they own, their commitments and their careers.
If you travel outside of America, which you have, there is a very different attitude about travel and life than here in this country. Even in Japan, it is commonplace for people to pick up and just leave for a one month vacation every year. EVERY YEAR. In Europe, Australia, and the Indian subcontinent it is common for people to travel the world when they are finished with school before they even start to work. What tops it all is that they don't say, "I can't." or "I'm stuck."
Stress comes in many forms, we just have to be sure we are presupposing what the sources of that stress is correctly if we are to overcome it and truly achieve peace and happiness. What we need is freedom, not an antidote for stress.
The real freedom that comes for me, as a Christian, ultimately comes from the bible and God. In the book of the Psalms, (103:19) it is said, "The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all." This tells me that no matter what happens in this world we can look to God and be comforted by the fact that so long as He is on His throne, His will shall be done. This is coming from a Christian perspective so do try to understand that (seriously, do try to understand that). If you were a Christian, this would be what speaks to you. However, though you are not, that does not mean that nothing speaks to you. lol
This is my story. I hope that will help you to understand a little about myself and why I may speak in the way that I speak. I'm still a very uneducated person in relationship to the scholars out there. I aim to become one myself someday, but so long as I know one truth about this world, it is my duty as a human being to proclaim it. It is my responsibility to be an open book of information for anything that anybody needs. And it is my purpose to be a living example of the hope that is in me for you, my friends, and the whole world for that matter.
Think of it this way, if I were commanded to go forth and preach the gospel and make disciples of all nations (Mark 16:15) and I knew somebody pretty personally or even let's say not very well at all. If I knew somebody, and had the power to share even a word of the gospel with them and potentially *save them (try to realize this word from a Christian perspective) and didn't, then not only would I be breaking the covenant that I made with God, but would also be responsible for their *damnation (try also to understand this word from a Christian perspective, however difficult it may be. lol Most Christians even have a hard time knowing what this word is really about. lol).
The whole point to this near-novel that I just wrote is to articulate that I am here for anything. Anything that you need to talk about personally, spiritually, intellectually, philosophically... anything. So, lol, I hope that I'm not coming off as the type that will never get off of this kick and just chat, because I will. This, I thought, might just help with discussion and direction for what to say, or more importantly how to say it, now that you know more about me and who I am. lol
In Christ,
Stephen
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