A Psalm of Praise

In the stillness of my thoughts,
You are with me.

When I am in times of trouble,
and I am crushed in rushing rapids,
gasping for air looking, frantically,
for a rock to save myself,

And when I walk in darkness, to fall into a precipice,
and I scramble to find a lantern to light the path at my feet,
I find You.

I am the rocks upon which the seed was sown,

I am the rich man who decided to tear down his storehouses and build larger ones,
and who says to himself, "take ease, eat, drink, be merry."

I am the virgin that did not store up oil for my lantern,
anticipating the arrival of the coming Bridegroom.

I am the wise man made a fool, led astray,
led to be fed to the mouth of Sheol
only to look up as I hang from her jaws,
to see You, and your mighty hand,
keeping her jaws from closing on me.

In the stillness of my mind,
I feel a cool breeze on my face,
I hear quiet waters creeping downstream.
The breeze that moves across my face
brushes the green pastures in which I lay
as a comb through fine hair,

And I hear a whispering voice say to me,
"Am I not more than a rock, or a lantern?
Am I not more than One who restores you,
only for you to shout empty praises,
and again return to darkness?
Am I a fool?"

Lord, Lord! I entreat Thee!
Give grace to your servant,
for my sins outnumber the hairs of my head,
and the grass of the field,
and the sand of the sea.

The Lord, my God, is so much more
than the rope which brings me out of a pit
only to have itself be thrown into the pit.

ADONAI, let every inch of my being cry out to You,
and my praises be heard!

I am as a wave of the sea,
tossed by the wind,
but when You lift me up
I am as the rain and the snow which falls from Heaven!

Let it be so, that I will not return to you in Heavenly Places,
without first watering the Earth,
making it bud and flourish,
yielding for it seed for the sower
and bread for the eater,
not returning empty handed,
but accomplishing what You desire,
and achieving the purpose for which You sent me!

Let it be so, my Master,
that I will be not as the rains which fall on the just and the wicked,
bringing trial and tribulation to them,
blotting out the light which You have sent,

But that I will be as the rains that restore,
washing those upon whom I fall clean,
and giving them seed which will grow up to become the bread which gives life,
blessing all without partiality.

Let me be as the rains that restore the Earth
and reveal the sun to the entire world!
So that they all may see from whom all blessings flow,
and declare with their lips that Yeshua ADONAI is Lord!

My heart aches, for I beseech Thee,
that You may give me understanding of Your love!
Just as allowing the oxen to thresh is not for the benefit of the ox,
likewise is the rock and the lantern with which you save us not for our benefit,
but Yours!

For it is not You, but our own vices and depravity
which has taken us to the rushing rapids
or the darkness and the jaws of Sheol!

Praise be to God!
For all things work together for those who You have called,
according to Your purpose!

You have lifted our eyes to see You -the rock,
the lantern, the Hand which saves us,
and the One, alone,
worthy of praise, worship and service forever and ever!

Amen!

In our weakness, He is strong.

Sometimes when we can't pluck out our eyes
and throw them from us,
God does it for us.

Sometimes when we are blinded to the truth,
He gives us sight.

In times when we are lame
and cannot walk the path set before us,
God says, "Get up and walk!"

Even when we have become the walking dead,
He will resurrect us unto life,
even eternal life.

He is our Savior, our Healer,
the One who restores us,
and the One who brings life.

Praise be to Him forever and ever!
Amen.

Conquered

I am conquered.

Life has crushed me in its inner chambers.
I am no more, for I have tasted the depths of Sheol
and have found the most profound nothingness.

I can hear the screams,
I can feel the pain that you and I,
and all of us are destined to find.

There is no joy here,
only silence, only suffering.
My pain is only magnified by my loss,
my love, forever and always.

You may see it approaching but who can resist it?
For all is from the Lord, my Master, my King.
The rains fall on us all, and noone is spared.
If you have not found Him, He will find you.

You cannot resist Him.
Who can save us from such horror,
such nothingness, such pain?
There is none, not one but the Lord.

My Great Lament - My Return

I feel as though change is coming -both for better and for worse. A part of me remembers that is completely relative to my emotions. I believe that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose, yet I grieve at the thought of my fears manifesting themselves as I feel they are about to.

I am about to go on Winter Break from school and will have over a month off of school. In some ways you could call me a mystic because I feel as though God is apportioning this time for me to be without one stressor so that I can take on another. The holidays are coming, but I fear them not. I fear loss above all things -the loss of those that I love. I fear that some that I love most dearly will destroy themselves in their own confusion with life. God help them, please.

I do my best not to ask things of God yet I find myself a contradiction -I pray that God will change me into the man that he desires me to be; I pray that He will test me -and that He will protect me also. I pray that He will change other people -how selfish! And worse, I expect Him to change me without any effort on my own at times -though not consciously until after the fact. I have sinned again and again against the my Lord and Savior, being ashamed of his commandments. I can feel the pain of sin deep within my heart -I fight the tears in every prayer, in every moment that I read the scriptures. I fight my tears when those around me, who I love, rationalize or act without thinking and sin against God, even just after prayer -and worse I wish to hide alone and scream after I join and partake in sin along with them. God help me, I beg You!

What I fear the most of all is my own superficiality. I weep about my sin and the sin of others, yet I often give up. Every day is a renewed struggle. I do not fight my sin in ways that "I wish that I did." Actions, inexcusably, cast a spotlight on our innermost desires and show not just the world but ourselves where our heart really lies. My heart lies with sin, the greatest of all adulteresses, for her way is to the pits of Sheol and her legs reach as pillars to its deepest depths. I am a sinner, guilty before the court and the Judge of life and death.

I hope that it is not I that shames the name of God, but sin which indwells me. But that is an empty hope and one that is without truth. God knows the heart and He knows that I am wicked waiting at every opportunity to strike against Him; the spirit and the flesh are at war and there will be no treaty -the battle will be fought to the death. One will be declared the victor by God Almighty in the Day of Judgment. I am a fool to think that I can win the battle against the flesh on my own -I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!

Winter is all but here. Nature dies before our eyes only to be reborn again. The air is growing colder and more chilling every day. Even still, God has given me comfort in His promises and in His Word. God has given me great and undeserved blessing that I piss away and actually believe as though it is mine, or anything for that matter. I have not earned nor deserve anything and it is only by the mercy of God that I have anything. My God, I have betrayed your blessings with my boasting in the flesh. The things of this world will pass away -again I will pray in futility! God give me the strength and the courage to store up riches in heaven, not on earth! Take away all fear from me, though I have nothing to fear with You as my God! Again I have hoped an empty hope: that God will change me with no effort on my own. It is MY choice to make. What an opportunity I have been given! I can simply choose Heaven over Hell! How great and simple a choice! God, I pray, have mercy on my pitiful soul.

My life is a sine wave. I rise and fall as the waves of the sea. Jesus is my rock, I need only to swim to Him and take hold for dear life eternal! Father in Heaven, I pray that others would do the same or else perish for all eternity! I can only fall in great fear and trembling of your judgment Lord. I do not understand your ways God but I trust in you and I take refuge in your commandments. Not once has sin done me well, in this world or in the one that is to come. Oh God! How I grieve and mourn over my sin and the pain of this world! Take me into Your arms and take me home with You in Eternity! If you are willing Lord, grant me your mercy, grace and love to an overflowing measure so that I can share it with others! Alas, I have sinned yet again, for the love of Christ and the Spirit of God indwells me this very moment! Every breath that I take is a sin.

My God and Savior, I am a cursed man for I crucify you with every breath and step that I take. Your love is too great for my understanding, too great for my gratitude.

God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

My God, I am not worthy. To You be the Power and the Glory forever and ever! Amen.

Spread The Word Please!!!

Hey everybody! I started giving guitar lessons up at the Music Shoppe in Harrison a couple weeks ago. If you, a child, or a friend are wanting to learn the guitar, or the bass and be an awesome musician be sure to let me know! I would love to have you as a student and help you to reach your musical goals! I can help you learn anything that you want to know such as Folk, Blues, Country, Rock, Metal, Punk, Pop, Swing, Jazz, Bluegrass, Gospel, Classical, and on and on and on! I am available Monday through Thursday from 4:00 to 8:00! If you need to have lessons earlier just let me know; I can usually work something out. Besides, I'm hoping to make teaching my sole source of income so that I won't have to work my day job so I would be thrilled to have all of you as students!!!

If you have any questions about pricing, availability, lesson structure or anything let me know!

God Bless,
Stephen

P.S. I look forward to hearing from you all!!!

Help me to help you reach your musical goals so that you can be the great guitarist and musician that you have always wanted to be!

Another Article I Did On Helium, This Time On The Question,"Who Created God?"

It is clearly evident to me that many people still seem to struggle with this, to me, largely logically primordial question, “If God Created Everything, Who Created God?” Upon reading many of the articles posted about this topic, it also is clearly evident to me that few (if any) of those who wrote upon this topic have really performed actual research or deep analysis on such a problem’s history, and more than that, its actual logical bearings on the contingency of a creator for the universe, or for the purposes of this question “him”-self. I notice some of the top writers going so far as to say that, “there is currently no answer to this question.” –such a supposition I know to be completely ignorant of the last two thousand years of Western Philosophy and theology as we know it; for such a question has long since been dealt with and abandoned by those whose aim is to disprove a divine existence in the first place. Many have made much stronger attempts at disproving such a being via the Problem of Evil.

Before delving too far into this subject matter; however, I would first allow for all readers to know my own intentions and convictions. I find this necessary for my belief in the freedom of man in his affairs, and also to not waste the time of some individuals who do not care to consider the arguments of one from a different perspective. I am a Christian who studies problems like this every day and minute of my life as I study world religion and philosophy in school. I don’t go to a Christian University, but rather a secular school. I am a former atheist and not ignorantly so as if I somehow intellectually “lost” a battle with Christianity but rather I consider myself to be intellectually honest, as I encourage all to do. MOST importantly of all, I am a NOBODY who is easily shown up by REAL theologians who have something beyond an elementary education such as mine.

The question of whether God, in the Western Christian sense (as I’m certain that is the “God” whom this question is directed towards), was created or not is absurd logically. The question along with many others I have noticed in related articles about this such as, “Can God create a rock so heavy that he cannot lift it?” (therefore nullifying his omniscience), are logically systemically contradictory. They both rely on lethally erroneous assumptions that cause the very questions, not even the arguments, to fall apart. As I am aware of the specific audience I am writing to, I will restrict my answers and contemplations to the Judeo-Christian God of the Israelites; a God who is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent. My arguments via physics will adhere to current understandings of the physical world via Quantum Mechanics, Relativity, and the Laws of Thermodynamics. However, most of my arguments and reasoning will remain philosophical as that’s what everyone seems to “want.”

“If God Created Everything, Who Created God?”

The answer to this question will demand several definitions about the nature of inherent qualities that the universe has. Some of you philosophy buffs out there may notice that this article will reflect upon certain characteristics of arguments for the existence of God, most notably one (of the many) versions of the Cosmological Argument. From what modern physics has revealed about the universe as we know it today, there was a beginning –the Big Bang some fourteen odd billion years ago. There were two very important things that began with the Big Bang: space and time, respectively. We know that it is a fundamental law of physics that matter cannot be created nor destroyed, and yet we have a beginning whereby matter exploded from nothing into existence simultaneously with time. Now don’t get too excited I’m not saying that this alone is any sort of proof for the existence of God, but rather it demonstrates that the laws of physics needed to be and were broken in order for space and time to erupt into existence in the first place.

Time for the fun part, if one attempts to “retrodict” to a “point before” the Big Bang, than something rather unscrupulous is being suggested. That is to say things “happen” or “happened” BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. To say that something has been created necessitates the existence of time as a necessary entity. “I exercised at the gym today.” –is a logically coherent conjecture. To ask, “If God Created Everything, Who Created God?” is logically inconsistent. Something that I feel that is important to note at this point is that the question that we are asking already assumes that (a) God exists. To argue about whether or not any God was necessary for any of this is an entirely different conversation in its own right –a problem which I feel is much more worthy than this in the first place. Our current dilemma; however, is perhaps best articulated via logical argument, a basic form goes something like this:

(1) Everything that exists contingently has a reason for its existence.
(2) The universe exists contingently.
Therefore:
(3) The universe has a reason for its existence.
(4) If the universe has a reason for its existence then that reason is God.
Therefore:
(5) God exists.

This is a basic form of the Cosmological Argument from Contingency. The distinguishing factor that is relevant to this conversation is whether or not God would fall into the category of a contingent being or a necessary being. That is, would his existence require explanation (who created Him?) or if it begins with Him. The point of the discussion above about time was to articulate that necessity ends and contingency begins with the beginning of the universe, the Big Bang. Because phenomena occur in time, and time did not “exist” “prior to” the Big Bang, then the question of God’s contingency is easily smashed. God is the necessary being with which the universe is contingent upon, in this argument.

Therefore, as the issue of time has been clarified, the issue of whether or not God could have had a creator is absurd outright. TIME TIME TIME, it’s all about time. I’m sure you’ve heard enough of it; however, it is entirely necessary for some to hear. It is understandably difficult to remove one’s perspective from that of time, or be it impossible. However, one must not let that difficulty extend to something that is eternal (Latin for “no time”).

I am a Christian with no degree in anything, a nobody; just some twenty year old kid that goes to church in some small hick town in the mid-west United States. The arguments above are no “end-all” argument for God’s existence, but I think that perhaps it is for the question that we have asked in regards to “His creator.” I’m not the type of Christian who will cram Jesus down your throat the first chance that I get because that is not what being a Christian is about. It’s about being loyal to the truth, and showing love to people. Unfortunately all that is seen of the contemporary American Christian is the ignorant, intolerant, and largely inconsiderate undereducated, misinformed, illogical, irrational, hypocritical, charismatic, and practically dangerous individuals roaming about. Sad to say there are some that are like that and I’m afraid that they’ve just missed the point. They were meant to be the light of the world and have become one of the greatest stumbling blocks for all of mankind.

Even apart from our religious/spiritual affiliations I feel that it is necessary for us to be loyal to the truth and to honesty with one another. The purpose of this article is not so much to argue about what I still consider a layperson’s problem with the philosophy of religion, but rather to present the perspective that it is an intellectually reputable position to be a believer in God, not just in the Judeo-Christian God, but the mere concept of a creator.

If one can bring themselves to the place whereby the realization occurs that theism is a reasonable position, then at least an atheist could be brought to agnosticism. Everyone is an agnostic. Everyone. That is because epistemologically there is not a possible means with which to derive conclusive evidence amounting in the favor or either the theist or the atheist. It is with that fact in mind that one should be honest and maintain the integrity of a true student of academic skepticism. Don’t be sold anything, but rather through conviction and reason, one ought to bring themselves to the place where the head and the heart meet, because that is where the essence of being human is truly found.

-Στεφανος Άρρις

On My Grievances For Worship Music...

I recently have been experiencing a dilemma from my musical endeavors, as well as my perceptions on music-worship in particular. I constantly find myself (frankly) annoyed at Christian music for its monotony, lack of creativity, and most of all how I feel about what the role of that music is supposed to be. When I say monotony, I mean to communicate just what you all have, that it all sounds the same.

I oftentimes find my opinion aligning with that of Neil, that is, it must be insulting to an Almighty Being for such uncreative music to have been offered by a being of such greater potential. I think that we are better than G, D, C, (refrain) compositions, or are we? Some people just aren’t creative. Maybe those people are creating the best that they can. I don’t know, do you? There is a great struggle inside of me that begs the question of whether or not I am in the right place. Perhaps my understanding of the function of worship music is not where it needs to be.

Scripture tells us that the LORD delights in our song, but certainly HE expects the act of worship to be the most powerful, expressive, and humble act of our being. Maybe that is presumptuous. It probably is. Is the way that I judge music (especially worship music) even appropriate? With secular music, I feel as though I have the right and privilege of providing a social, creative, and personal critique upon it. On the other hand, is worship music even to be graded by the same standards? Pastors seem to tell me that it is the message that is important, that our singing is to be as a prayer to the LORD. I believe that is true; however, with me personally whenever I hear worship music I feel a strange, violating, almost haunting sense of distraction from the message of worship and find myself analyzing the music and placing scrutiny upon it. Who am I to do such a thing? I am belittling a faithful person’s worship to the LORD as being inferior, insufficient, even insulting when I fail to ask if what they are doing has a scriptural basis; or more than that IF WHAT I AM DOING EVEN HAS A SCRIPTURAL BASIS.

I have this feeling of not being able to fully communicate how I feel about the subject. Recently in church, I confronted my pastor about this issue that I’m having because it really has, does, and probably will continue to bother me until I resolve this problem within myself. I remember the passage that tells us that when we pray we are to, “let our words be few.” I wonder whether or not the simplicity of the music is necessary for the sake of worship. For me, it might be-I’m not certain yet. Maybe it is necessary for the masses as they would not have the ability to sing along to a song written in a 7/4 verse ending with a perfect cadence transitioning into a 13/8 chorus all the while making way to a free-time bridge. It’s simply not possible. I think that it is popular to have a 4/4 song in a simple major key because it is necessary for the large majority of the culture. They can interact with it much easier than a song that is more complicated like some songs written by my past band, Mayday!

This conflict eats me alive during every Sunday service or every time I turn on the radio hoping to find a good sermon on WFCJ (93.7 FM) and come to find a three hour period of worship music. I want to criticize the music for its lack of progressivism creatively but I am nearing the conclusion that I don’t have a place in doing that. However; that is not to say that I don’t think that individuals gifted with creative ability and aspirations shouldn’t pursue those abilities. I believe that individuals such as my close friends Neil, Kevin, T.j., and myself need to provide that option for people with a greater yearning for creative outlets out of commandment (“…do all that you do to the glory of God.”). The variety needs to be, and should be there.

Like Neil has outlined in his blog, he as well as all of us need to be reminded of just who all of this belongs to, HIM. None of this belongs to us; we are merely stewards of our abilities and our possessions for HIM as well as for others. What is ours now will pass on to another when we die, no matter how much less “worthy” they may be having not worked for the fortune that they inherit. We need to be willing and active in lifting up everything that we have and do to God. Like Neil, I find myself periled by the fact that I am so reluctant to give up that piece of “my” creative ability. In instances such as this, people have historically given such things up if they interfere with their ability to do all that they do to HIS glory. That is, if something causes them to stumble, to remove it from themselves. Sometimes I wish that I could do that, but other (and most) times I find myself praying for and trying to simply “gain the strength” to cope with this inadequacy. I think, “Why can’t I just suck it up and get strong enough so that this won’t be a problem?” –as if giving up is the easy way out. MAYBE SOMETIMES IT’S THE NECESSARY AND SAFE WAY OUT. Maybe it works for some and others are not called to do that, I don’t know. I can’t even talk about it, nor do I even really know what I am talking about.

Too many times; however, I find that those who are in positions of influence (musically) abuse that privilege and become the beast that they so thought that they fought to overcome. That is, that a lot of times even Christian musicians use their musical talent and status publicly to get attention, recognition –things of the world for that matter. Many musicians, including myself, like to look cool on stage having everybody’s eyes fixated upon them. I like it because it feels good, recognition. It is sinful; it is wrong. I sometimes wonder if maybe that was why Neil was reluctant to play out with Mayday! He had played out so many times that it didn’t mean anything any longer. Like Solomon in a sense, he recognized the vanity of it all, I suppose. This brings me to my greatest peeve in Christian music today, the Christian metal scene.

I am staunchly convinced that there is absolutely nothing glorifying to God about this music. Every inch of it is produced from the ego seeking recognition and even expressing and oftentimes advocating sin. My church has hosted many of these concerts because (and it so greatly grieves me that I could never describe it) it is what the youth these days want. They want to live in a culture of indulgence being permissive and tolerant of all things. Many of the groups that we hosted were encouraging violent mosh pits in the very sanctuary. Granted, I don’t feel any particular sense of holiness about a building mind you; however, in an environment and in particular an event geared at an outreach to the youth to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to me repulsive. Perhaps I’m wrong for thinking that; I probably am. It accomplished exactly what an outreach is geared towards, getting non-believers into an environment in which the Gospel can be presented. The musicians most of the time are exalting themselves, not God; however, it says in scripture that God works in all things for the good of those that believe in HIM. Maybe those selfish musicians do serve a purpose. I just feel really uncomfortable about it for whatever reason. This is how I feel even if it is not logically sound.

I suppose it bothers me not because the motives of these bands are selfish and for vain things, but rather for the reason that they profess that they are Christian bands which in my opinion tarnish the name of Christianity. Those who encounter Christianity may remember this band and think of them, only adding to layers of preconceived inconsistencies within the Christian faith and lifestyle. That’s probably not entirely true, but nonetheless, it is now a face that Christianity has and will have to answer to. Like I said earlier, God works in all things for the greatest good of those who believe in HIM; however, does that put me in the wrong for feeling offended because of the now shared title that I have with these hypocrites? I don’t know. I’m a man without answers.

I think that they way things are may be for the best (as much as I may not agree with them). The simple, horribly uncreative, monotonous music created by the Christian pop music culture is “working” for the masses. For those that have a greater yearning or need for creativity, the options are out there. For all of the hypocrites within the Christian music scene, God will use them anyways. What they do cannot tarnish whatever plan that God has. What is necessary though, is the focus. Just as when Peter encountered Jesus walking on the lake he only plunged into the waters after his eyes became unfixed from Jesus. No matter what we do or how we feel, we need to place our trust in him; take our burdens and leave them at the cross, lift up everything that we have to HIM, and never lose sight of HIM.

I like so many others really do need to forget myself and pick up my cross and follow HIM, though I often fail. Thank God that I have grace, though I don’t deserve it. In fact, I so undeserve it that I cannot even conceive of why HE would ever give it to me in the first place. I’m all the more grieved by my sins for the suffering endured on the cross in my stead. I feel grieved by my musical conviction, for it is a sin in that I stumble because of it. I judge the musical prayers of others by placing value upon it and the type of music I would like to make in HIS name, I fear, would not be totally to HIS glory. Like I said, we must never lose sight of Christ, what HE has done for us, and what HE is doing for us every minute of every day –allowing the Spirit to convict us of sin and to forgive us through grace, justifying us through faith.

I leave this post without an answer or an opinion about it other than it troubles me, it grieves me, and most of all it reminds me of just how unworthy I am of HIS forgiveness. Praise be to God.

In Christ,
Στεφανος Άρρις